Tag: God

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The Correct Mistakes

Forgive yourself. 

This is what I am hearing from God today. 

Forgive yourself for mistakes in your art Carin, it is the only path to improvement. There is nothing to be unsettled about, with your art. 

You are making the correct mistakes. 

You are making the correct mistakes to: 

  1. Understand yourself
  2. Your childhood
  3. Your needs
  4. And your fears 

The only way to improve is to make mistakes. 

Really, there is nothing to forgive when one makes a mistake. Of course the shame, regret, or guilt show up because society and Satan tell us, “If it’s not perfect, it’s not right.” 

Ask yourself, “If it’s imperfect, is it perfect for my learning?”

What have I learned today?

First off: 

  1. Our fears tell us where to forgive. 
  2. Looking at what we are afraid of can reveal doors we need to open, and release or rewrite stories that keep us frozen. 
  3. When we have new stories we are capable of unimaginable progress. 
  4. We are not to do this alone. Ask God to carry you and see who shows up to help. 

             What does this look like?

             Imagine you are afraid to express yourself. Go back through your life, identify the pattern that leads to this fear. Ask yourself if it is true that it is not safe to speak up? Can you remember a time when you could speak well, and it was received positively? Now ask yourself, “Is it safe to express myself?” “Could it be safe to express myself?” “How would it feel to express myself without fear?” 

              I invite you to keep moving forward, making essential mistakes, loving yourself, asking good questions, and welcoming God into your everyday decisions. This will create a daily pattern of love. 

              Live in love, fear not, you are a bright and brilliant being. 

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Snow Storms

The storms won’t stop. 

We counted five white out storms in just one day last week. It is currently March and feels like the weather should clear up. 

Yet the storms keep coming. 

We all have been hit by storms in the past three years. Illness, weakened body, over taxed mind and spirit, fears multiplying everyday, loneliness, doubt, and an overwhelming sense of impending doom. 

It is all too much. 

I was talking to my sister and she said, “I hope I’m through with this stage of grief.” 

Then it hit me. 

We have all been dragged through a death. 

The death of what we knew. 

Life will never be the same again. 

In pre-2020 I enjoyed a good movie, however over the past year I’ve tried to watch some old favorites. Most of them feel fake. It’s like, for years we’ve been, “snowed,” by lies of safety. Before, I performed daily tasks unaware of the precariousness of our nation’s normalcy. These storms however, have not caught us all unaware. Even so that doesn’t matter, the storm keeps coming, blocking what’s on the horizon.

Storms, especially a white out, make it hard to see. You can only view what is immediately in front of you. The lack of clarity is dangerous. 

In this current storm, take precautions. 

  1. Pray before you step. 
  2. Let your grief from the loss of your past wash over you with wisdom. 
  3. Feel each cycle, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
  4. Ask yourself, “What stage of grief am I at?” 

I feel like I have been cycling through several stages at once. The result being flight, flight, or freeze. One cannot be prepared, or defend one’s self from the oncoming onslaught unless one steps out of survival mode. The only remedy I’ve found for the fear that keeps us in survival mode is love. Pray for love, the love of God to flood your mind, heart, and spirit. Then listen and move forward, out of the storm, find shelter, and be at peace. 

All storms have a reason and a purpose, and all storms bring new growth. 

I envision life blossoming before us as we choose the path of wisdom.  

“Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, it empties today of its strength.”

–Corrie Ten Boom

“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.”

–Bob Marley

“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind,” 

2 Timothy 1:7

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Small Steps Away From Suffering

There is a belief that suffering is righteous. 

Suffering is only a vehicle for remorse and change. Yes, our actions can bring suffering, but staying in suffering doesn’t bring relief or a gold star. Staying in suffering usually happens because: 

  1. A person believes they cannot change.
  2. A child is taught that they are not worth the effort to live in joy, and they grow up believing it is true.
  3. An individual uses their suffering to control or manipulate others. 
  4. A person is in a physical or psychological situation that is beyond their control. 

Have you tried to move out of suffering before, only to fall back into misery? That is life, suffering.  But we are sent here to grow, not be destroyed by suffering. 

If you believe you cannot change, ask yourself what it would be like if you could change. What needs would be met that are not being met if I was no longer suffering? What is the smallest step you could take? Take it today. 

If you have been taught that you are not worth the effort to create a joyful daily life, when did it start? Is it true? Can you prove, 100% it is true? Let me answer that for you. NO. You are a child of the Most High God, the Creator of All. Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother created you. Look back at that negative memory and declare, “Who are YOU to tell Me that I am NOT worth it? I am a CHILD OF GOD. Where is your authority? Where is your glory? I am A DAUGHTER, A SON OF THE MOST HIGH GOD.” Now feel that. This is truth. 

If you have used your suffering to manipulate people. Stop and ask yourself, “What am I lacking that I feel this is the way to get what I want?” Do you lack basic trust in your relationships or childhood? If you ever want to have lasting relationships or joy, you must change your patterns. If you are being manipulated I beg you to define in your mind the exact needs that are not being met. What can you do for yourself? Only trust the manipulator to fulfill the patterns they have completed in the past. Trust yourself to know what you need and what you will no longer tolerate. Define healthy boundaries for yourself and others will learn from how you treat yourself. 

However if you are in a situation that is physically or emotionally beyond your control. My heart breaks for you. We feel trapped. Here are some small suggestions beyond seeking professional help. (And I highly suggest you reach out to someone that can help you take steps.) 

Pray. Listen. Follow the impressions you receive. 

I’ve seen miracles with this formula myself. I have felt hopelessly trapped for decades, and it wasn’t until I took small guided heavenly steps that I was able to move out of fear. 

It is kind to move forward with the intent to change. 

Be as kind to yourself as you can. Every single day. 

Let God bring you change and blessings. 

Allow miracles to come. 

Suffer only to the amount that it brings you to a better place. 

Then let Christ show you a better way. 

Joy. 

The marriage of your sorrow and happiness. 

Smile. 

It is all possible for you.

“I do not boast in my own strength, nor in my own wisdom; but behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God.

“Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things” (Alma 26:11–12).

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A Rich Masterpiece that is YOU

Addiction recovery is all about second chances. This is my second chance to paint and write about recovery. It is a rebirth of my paintings and a new story about progress, faith, and endurance.

I feel that this is your story too. You are not the same person you where five years ago. You have been reborn like a phoenix. Are there ashes around you? Have you found more wisdom?

I can imagine that your soul is holding onto hope. Take a deep breath, you’ve made it this far, and you can make it to the next bend in the road. 

Why? Because you have arrived here, intact. Where is “here” for you? Where do you live physically, emotionally, and spiritually? This is your, “you are here” on the map of your life.  

Treat each day as a second chance. Everything you do counts. Failure counts, because you are not stagnant or giving up. This is why I am repainting the 12 steps. 

Success also needs to be acknowledged and not taken for granted. If you don’t it’s like it never happened. 

Do the work you need to do to be a whole being. You are a divine soul, and God wants you to be victorious.  

I can see in my mind each mistake, effort, victory, as layers of paint building a rich masterpiece that is you.

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Reborn as a Vast Universe

This week I have been seeing my past mistakes. My past bad fashion choices. My past failure to put my artwork first. My bad communication. My failings. 

As I have been repainting this 12 step series I have found a redeeming grace in this mass of mistakes. 

It is this: If you don’t have contrast you can’t see the distance and depth of a composition. If the tones are too much the same, the painting becomes bland and uninteresting. 

We need to see our shadows and light. 

If we “pretend” that we are monks that have never experienced mistakes, we will live and present an empty dishonest life. Self honesty is the key to feeling peaceful and alive. 

We need mistakes to learn. 

We need mistakes to feel success.

We need mistakes to learn bravery. 

We need mistakes to learn unconditional self love.

Mistakes mean we are moving forward. Uncovering them shows that we are a person of depth. 

Picture yourself at all different ages? Can you see your victories like stars in a vast night sky? 

Think of a time when you experienced hurt. Whose fault was it. Can you learn from it? Can you gather this hurt inside you and expel it. What would your body feel like without the old hurts? How could you feel – if those hurts didn’t define you as failure or a victim? 

See your younger selves. Love them. Give them each grace. They were functioning from the knowledge they had. 

Give yourself permission to function from a new story. 

Your new story is that you are a Masterpiece. A rich universe. A library of experience. A person reborn. 

Pray for help with this and then listen and act on what you feel impressed to do.

Next watch for miracles as you do your best to follow the impressions you’ve received. 

As you acknowledge the light and dark of your character you will see your abilities increase. You will have more compassion for yourself and others. You will forgive yourself more readily and forgive others. 

You will have peace. 

“Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:
The Soul that rises with us, our life’s Star,
Hath had elsewhere its setting,
And cometh from afar:
Not in entire forgetfulness,
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come.”

― William Wordsworth

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Disappointment and Perspective

My therapist asked me, “Is it that you can’t or that you feel overwhelmed?” 

He was talking about how I have missed deadlines for my art and writing. I was supposed to have the 12 Step Series repainted, but it’s taking longer than I had hoped. It’s amazing how my work has leveled up, at the same time the effort to get the work done is similar to trying to run in mud. 

Today I was so frustrated, because I kept choosing to work on other things, like, “I’ll do the dishes, and then paint.” Where are my priorities? 

The other issue was that I drifted away from working with God. This doesn’t work. With Him all the elements of your work come together and it is clear what steps to take and how your struggles have contributed to your work. 

So last night I made the decision to: 

  1. Step back and see the big picture. This includes my mental and physical health as well as God’s plan for me. 
  2. To move at God’s pace for me, and to write about the process. 

The answer to my therapist question was, both. I physically and mentally just can’t sometimes. And sometimes I feel such overwhelm that I am stress paralyzed.  

Here’s the thing, I’m not alone. I know that there are many who are experiencing the same thing. 

Let’s slow down, observe, and tap into God’s path for us, together. 

We will see small and great things happen. 

Because we are the masterpieces in the making.  

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The Resurrection Exhibit Opening Night!

May 5th, 2018 is the opening night of the Resurrection Exhibit!  It is being hosted by The Cottonwood Heights Arts Council at the new City Building, 2277 Bengal Blvd, Cottonwood Heights, UT. 

The exhibit will began on May 1st and run till the 31st.     

VIP

For the latest news and updates about the show click on the link and become part of our email list. 

 

The Resurrection Exhibit consists of art that is about and in support of addiction recovery.  Recovering addicts are welcome to submit artwork.  Organizations and Programs for addiction recovery are welcome to contact me and see how we can help each other. 

Tell me more!