Tag: art

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New Believable Story

What kind of baggage do you carry from your ancestors? 

Think about it for a minute. 

What kind of wars, struggles, deprivation, injuries, or isolation have those that have gone before you experienced? 

Families carry learned responses and fears. Sometimes it’s easy to connect those responses to the Great Depression, abuse, particular wars, starvation, etc. Have you been triggered by someone tossing out things without your permission, flinched from sudden movements or loud noises, gone into panic if pantry shelves are low, and then wondered if your response was out of proportion? 

Perhaps it is not entirely your response. We come with baggage that is both learned and genetic. We carry in our code the experiences of our past family. 

I bring this up because many people push, hate, and criticize themselves. And it puts them into fight, flight, or freeze. 

We cannot be in peace and create, when in this state of mind. 

What can be done about this? 

First forgive yourself and picture a believable new story.

For example:  I am dealing with fear of communicating. Where did it come from? Partly from my experience and partly from my ancestors. I can release the fear from myself and my ancestors then I can form a new story. How do you release it? There are many ways but the simplest is to breathe and let your mind show you the root experience. Let your mind flow till you see an important experience. Know that this experience is a pattern of what has happened in the past. Watch the experience from a new point of view, with love. See it from the point of view of your Savior, your mom, your friend. Write a new meaning for this experience. 

Now imagine a hammer demolishing all the fear inside you, then breathe it out. Do this till you start yawning. This is your body’s response showing you that it is shifting. 

Next fill your body with light that has new instructions that will show you a new pattern, new mantra, new belief. 

Repeat this in your mind and heart, love yourself. 

This is a gradual cumulative process. Over the years you can peel off the layers of the past and view all experience as love. 

Love is not permissiveness, love is not favoritism, love is truth and mercy. 

Tell yourself the truth, be kind, form a new pattern. 

Ask God to guide your journey. Then let go of all your issues, one at a time, and let go of the weight of the past. 

Breathe. 

Smile. 

Be.  



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The Correct Mistakes

Forgive yourself. 

This is what I am hearing from God today. 

Forgive yourself for mistakes in your art Carin, it is the only path to improvement. There is nothing to be unsettled about, with your art. 

You are making the correct mistakes. 

You are making the correct mistakes to: 

  1. Understand yourself
  2. Your childhood
  3. Your needs
  4. And your fears 

The only way to improve is to make mistakes. 

Really, there is nothing to forgive when one makes a mistake. Of course the shame, regret, or guilt show up because society and Satan tell us, “If it’s not perfect, it’s not right.” 

Ask yourself, “If it’s imperfect, is it perfect for my learning?”

What have I learned today?

First off: 

  1. Our fears tell us where to forgive. 
  2. Looking at what we are afraid of can reveal doors we need to open, and release or rewrite stories that keep us frozen. 
  3. When we have new stories we are capable of unimaginable progress. 
  4. We are not to do this alone. Ask God to carry you and see who shows up to help. 

             What does this look like?

             Imagine you are afraid to express yourself. Go back through your life, identify the pattern that leads to this fear. Ask yourself if it is true that it is not safe to speak up? Can you remember a time when you could speak well, and it was received positively? Now ask yourself, “Is it safe to express myself?” “Could it be safe to express myself?” “How would it feel to express myself without fear?” 

              I invite you to keep moving forward, making essential mistakes, loving yourself, asking good questions, and welcoming God into your everyday decisions. This will create a daily pattern of love. 

              Live in love, fear not, you are a bright and brilliant being. 

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Small Steps Away From Suffering

There is a belief that suffering is righteous. 

Suffering is only a vehicle for remorse and change. Yes, our actions can bring suffering, but staying in suffering doesn’t bring relief or a gold star. Staying in suffering usually happens because: 

  1. A person believes they cannot change.
  2. A child is taught that they are not worth the effort to live in joy, and they grow up believing it is true.
  3. An individual uses their suffering to control or manipulate others. 
  4. A person is in a physical or psychological situation that is beyond their control. 

Have you tried to move out of suffering before, only to fall back into misery? That is life, suffering.  But we are sent here to grow, not be destroyed by suffering. 

If you believe you cannot change, ask yourself what it would be like if you could change. What needs would be met that are not being met if I was no longer suffering? What is the smallest step you could take? Take it today. 

If you have been taught that you are not worth the effort to create a joyful daily life, when did it start? Is it true? Can you prove, 100% it is true? Let me answer that for you. NO. You are a child of the Most High God, the Creator of All. Heavenly Father and Heavenly Mother created you. Look back at that negative memory and declare, “Who are YOU to tell Me that I am NOT worth it? I am a CHILD OF GOD. Where is your authority? Where is your glory? I am A DAUGHTER, A SON OF THE MOST HIGH GOD.” Now feel that. This is truth. 

If you have used your suffering to manipulate people. Stop and ask yourself, “What am I lacking that I feel this is the way to get what I want?” Do you lack basic trust in your relationships or childhood? If you ever want to have lasting relationships or joy, you must change your patterns. If you are being manipulated I beg you to define in your mind the exact needs that are not being met. What can you do for yourself? Only trust the manipulator to fulfill the patterns they have completed in the past. Trust yourself to know what you need and what you will no longer tolerate. Define healthy boundaries for yourself and others will learn from how you treat yourself. 

However if you are in a situation that is physically or emotionally beyond your control. My heart breaks for you. We feel trapped. Here are some small suggestions beyond seeking professional help. (And I highly suggest you reach out to someone that can help you take steps.) 

Pray. Listen. Follow the impressions you receive. 

I’ve seen miracles with this formula myself. I have felt hopelessly trapped for decades, and it wasn’t until I took small guided heavenly steps that I was able to move out of fear. 

It is kind to move forward with the intent to change. 

Be as kind to yourself as you can. Every single day. 

Let God bring you change and blessings. 

Allow miracles to come. 

Suffer only to the amount that it brings you to a better place. 

Then let Christ show you a better way. 

Joy. 

The marriage of your sorrow and happiness. 

Smile. 

It is all possible for you.

“I do not boast in my own strength, nor in my own wisdom; but behold, my joy is full, yea, my heart is brim with joy, and I will rejoice in my God.

“Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things” (Alma 26:11–12).

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Listening at 1:00 am

The order in which I have reworked this 12 step series has not been logical. 

God is directing me in this work. I don’t know the finish line, but He does. God is making solutions known to me in the order that I need them. The images come, only when I am ready for them. 

For example last night I had been trying for two days to understand what was needed for the composition of Step Four. I wasted so much time painting and destroying several birds that did not work. It was only when I stopped and listened – humbly, that He suggested two different images for Step Four and Step Ten. 

The suggestion was, swap the panels and trade the images for Step Four with Step Ten. With this insight new compositions came to me – after several days of painting, searching, and repainting – finally peace. 

Through this spiritual art partnership God can make glorious art happen through me – if I am listening. 

At 1:00 am last night I was finally listening. 



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Disappointment and Perspective

My therapist asked me, “Is it that you can’t or that you feel overwhelmed?” 

He was talking about how I have missed deadlines for my art and writing. I was supposed to have the 12 Step Series repainted, but it’s taking longer than I had hoped. It’s amazing how my work has leveled up, at the same time the effort to get the work done is similar to trying to run in mud. 

Today I was so frustrated, because I kept choosing to work on other things, like, “I’ll do the dishes, and then paint.” Where are my priorities? 

The other issue was that I drifted away from working with God. This doesn’t work. With Him all the elements of your work come together and it is clear what steps to take and how your struggles have contributed to your work. 

So last night I made the decision to: 

  1. Step back and see the big picture. This includes my mental and physical health as well as God’s plan for me. 
  2. To move at God’s pace for me, and to write about the process. 

The answer to my therapist question was, both. I physically and mentally just can’t sometimes. And sometimes I feel such overwhelm that I am stress paralyzed.  

Here’s the thing, I’m not alone. I know that there are many who are experiencing the same thing. 

Let’s slow down, observe, and tap into God’s path for us, together. 

We will see small and great things happen. 

Because we are the masterpieces in the making.  

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5 Stages of Loss – Prints and Awesomeness :)

This series was created as I began to notice how many people around me had experienced serious loss on many levels.  

I invite you to explore the 5 Stages of Loss and see which one resonates with you.  

The images from The 5 Stages of Loss Series are being up loaded – However Step 1 – Denial is available in various awesome forms on Redbubble.

If you want a deeper understanding of the 5 Stages check out my book The Course of Wisdom – A Practical Workbook Honoring the 5 Stages of Loss on Amazon. 

Buy 5 Stages of Loss Artwork!
The Course of Wisdom Workbook!
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Published on Amazon

After the shock of loss there is a certain restlessness that sets in – and you just want to do something, anything to ease the loss, to make things a little better.  It is in this place of restlessness that The Course of Wisdom becomes very effective.  If you have lost someone you love, dreams, hopes, all that seemed to make your world make sense . . . reach for the next best step as you work each stage of loss.  

The Course of Wisdom:  A Practical Workbook Honoring the Five Stages of Loss, available on Kindle.

 

May you heal and value the wisdom you have gained during this time of loss. 

Purchase Here!
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The Resurrection Exhibit Opening Night!

May 5th, 2018 was a beautiful night.  The Cottonwood Heights City Building was perfect for the exhibit!  The most amazing thing about the whole event was how many people gave of their time and talents.  As I write this weeks later, I am still overcome with the generosity and kindness.  

Right off people came to set up sound systems, create beautiful food, and be ready to converse with people who wanted to know how to achieve recovery. 

Everyone worked together to present the best of their story, their journey, and the art that has come from their experience.   I was humbled by each of them. 

The art that was submitted had an honesty that I have rarely seen in gallery or museum.   Especially because not only did each artist need to present their story, but they had to find with in themselves the courage to speak about what they had been through.  What impressed me most was the abundance of positive messages from individuals that have been through hell and back.  I have nothing but respect for each artist and participant. 

None of this would have been possible with out the wonderful organizations and recovery centers that worked with me.  I would like to thank:  First Step House, Steps Recovery Center, Reach 10, Renew Wellness, Vanguard Revolution, Ascend Recovery, Kandy Graves, Empowered by Us, Wylene Benson, Addict to Artist, and Addict to Athlete.   They are doing phenomenal work.  

Then around 7:30 the live music began.  Each musician communicated, in a way that transcended words, their journey. 

Gabe Beckstead!  Logan Larkin!  Mclean Taylor!  Jessica Sellers!  Tim Halls!  Austin Madsen!  and Issac!  You all rock!  Literally <3  

That’s when the news crews showed up!  Channel 4 and 2 sent over teams.   I thoroughly enjoyed doing the interview and seeing the validation that these news spots brought for people who had been through so much already.  Thank you 2 and 4 for your amazing coverage.  

Important hugs!  Massively heart felt support!   Thank  you to all that came, you are truly serving (Step 12) because you were kind, you showed up, and you put your caring into action.  

You are welcome to contact me about participating in next year’s show for friends and family of individuals with addiction experience.  

Prints etc can be found by pressing the corresponding button.  

PS.  If you share this link and tag me I’ll discount your entire order by 30%.  

12 Step Prints

The Resurrection Exhibit goes to the end of May.  Hope to see you there at the Cottonwood Heights City Building. 

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